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Home Responsibilities By Age

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Home Responsibilities Based on Age of Child

Why do I keep harping on giving children jobs?  Because believe it or not, children need to feel USEFUL.  In fact, all people have to feel as though they are being helpful and making a contribution.  When a person participates and does a job or gives of their time and talents it creates a sense of affiliation and belonging that is the sticky glue that pulls a group together.  Since the urbanization of society, children have been asked to do less and less for the family.  No more collecting the eggs or milking the cows.  Today’s children are often nothing more than inert tumors on the family!  They only experience take take take with out any of the lovely benefits that come from GIVING back in.   Children who have responsibilities to the family develop a sense of their importance, belonging and their self -esteem grows as their competencies grow.  So check it out.  How are your kids doing?

Here is the check list thanks to Marion Balla of the Adlerian Counselling Centre in Ottawa Canada.

HOME RESPONSIBILITIES FOR A PRE-SCHOOLER

  •    Pick up toys after use and put them in the proper place.
  •    Put books and magazines in a rack/shelf.
  •    Clean up what they drop after eating.
  •    Make a choice between two foods for breakfast (learn to make simple decisions).
  •    Toilet training.
  •    Simple hygiene – brush teeth, wash and dry hands and brush hair.
  •    Undress self – get dressed with some help. Choose their own outfit.
  •    Clear own place at the table.

 

HOME RESPONSIBILITIES FOR A KINDER CHILD

  • Help to set the dinner table.
  • Help put the groceries away (lower shelves).
  • Help with compiling a grocery list.
  • Follow a schedule for feeding pets.
  • Help make their bed.
  • Dress themselves.
  • Help to clear the table.
  • Make a simple dessert (add topping to cupcakes, jello, pour the toppings on ice cream, etc.)
  • Put laundry in the hamper.
  • Empty their backpack (agenda, lunchbox).

 

HOME RESPONSIBILITIES FOR GRADE ONE

  • Empty garbage into larger bin.
  • Make own sandwich or simple breakfast and clean up afterwards.
  • Set the dinner table.
  • Clear the table.
  • Make bed and clean room.
  • Dress on own and choose weather-appropriate outfit for the day.
  • Separate clothing for washing, eg. put white clothes in one separate pile and coloured in another.
  • Fold clean clothes and put them away.
  • Care for pets.
  • Water plants.
  • Help to pack lunches.

 

HOME RESPONSIBILITIES FOR GRADE TWO

  • Get own breakfast.
  • Take phone messages and write them down.
  • Weeding under supervision. Help out with yard work.
  • Take out the garbage. Take out recycling.
  • Carry in the grocery bags.
  • Get up in the morning with an alarm clock.
  • Leave the bathroom in order:  hang up clean towels, tube back on toothpaste, etc..
  • Wash dishes and/or rinse and place in dishwasher.
  • Use microwave/toaster.
  • Sweep/dust non-breakable/precious items.

 

HOME RESPONSIBILITIES FOR GRADE THREE

  • Make lunches and healthy snacks.
  • Distribute laundry and put away own clothes.
  • Prepare a menu and write a grocery list.
  • Run own bath water and follow bedtime routine.
  • Help others with their work around the house when asked.
  • Shop for and select own clothing and shoes with parents.
  • Clean up animal “messes” in the yard and house.
  • ‘Babysit’ for short periods of time with adults present.
  • Take responsibility for organizing equipment for extracurriculars, eg. soccer cleats, violin, etc.
  • Help write simple letters/e-mails.
  • Load and unload the dishwasher.

 

HOME RESPONSIBILITIES FOR GRADE FOUR

  • Change sheets on the bed and put dirty sheets in the hamper.
  • Operate the washer and/or dryer.
  • Make breakfast for self and younger siblings.
  • Cross streets unassisted.
  • Check mailbox.
  • Peel vegetables, help with meal prep.
  • Get everyone’s drinks for dinner.
  • Dust/sweep.
  • Fold and put away laundry (ie sheets).
  • Wipe down counters.
  • Vacuum
  • Rake leaves/shovel snow.
  • Collect and take out garbage.

 

HOME RESPONSIBILITIES FOR GRADE FIVE

  • Scrub pots/pans.
  • Clean the kitchen.
  • Pack own suitcase.
  • Take on a paper route, with some adult help.
  • Borrow and return books to library (keep track of due dates).
  • Take responsibility for school work and organizing work to meet homework deadlines.
  • Mop
  • Clean car.
  • Take pets for a walk.
  • Clean sinks.
  • Bring the empty garbage cans in from the curb.

 

HOME RESPONSIBILITIES FOR GRADE SIX

  • Put younger siblings to bed and help dress them.
  • Make simple meals.
  • Clean refrigerator.
  • Full responsibility for paper route.
  • Help to organize closets (transitions between summer/winter closets)
  • Clean bathrooms.
  • Clean toilets.
  • Help with shoveling and work outdoors.

 

HOME RESPONSIBILITIES FOR JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL/HIGH SCHOOL

  • Discuss bedtimes and curfews with parents. Determine based on mutual parent-child discussion and agreement.
  • Complete responsibility of preparing certain family meals. Make meal once/week.
  • Clean the garage.
  • Babysit younger siblings & help with homework.
  • Mow the lawn, shovel the driveway.
  • Locate and accept part-time jobs i.e. shoveling snow, mowing lawns, retail, etc.
  • Run errands for the family, especially if they have their license.
  • Help grocery shop.
  • Paint gates/decks, etc.

About Alyson

Alyson has been blogging parenting advice for over 15 years. She has been a panelist at BlogWest, Blissdom, #140NYC and more. Her content appears on sites across Canada and the US, but you can read all her own blog posts right here.

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32 Responses to “Home Responsibilities By Age”

  1. Maya

    What 10 year old can prepare a family meal?? In this society who would allow them to ride a city bus??

    Reply
    • itjgray

      I used to get the bus to and from school ( about 1 hour ) aged 11 back in the 90s. It was normal. Once kids go to secondary school, they should be able to travel there on their own.

      Reply
    • Lisa

      Both of my 10 year colds can prepare a meal, one of them better than my husband. You would be surprised what they can do.

      Reply
    • Dj smith

      Me I’m 11 and I started at 7 I also clean like the whole house, cook dinner and lunch, stay home alone, and I go places with my friends a lot.

      Reply
    • Melanie

      Hi, I’m 11 yrs old and I am right now looking through this website to prepare for a district debate, but couldn’t help noticing your comment and felt an urge to reply. Since I was around four my parents started teaching me how to taste food. Since six I could help around running small errands in the kitchen. At seven I could start chopping vegetables and preparing foods. By eight I knew how to cook family meals and now I am slowly developing my skills in cooking. So yea. Sorry.

      Reply
  2. Dick

    How are kids suppose to know how to do this if they can’t even reach to sit on a chair

    Reply
    • jana momen

      but may be you child is still small or the chair is too high.
      how old is he

      Reply
    • Christopher Ayo

      Depend with the age of your child, for many manage to do and with happiness

      Reply
  3. Lutfiyya Timol

    At what age should child be able to bath themselves?

    Reply
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  6. Cher & Rob

    Do you have a list for teens? We are well behind on the kid lists… and wondering where to start.

    Reply
    • alyson

      Great question – I don’t – but your note inspires me to compile one!

      Reply
      • Bonnie

        Yes, I to am behind and as a single mother would love to know what chores my 14 and almost 16-year old kids should be helping out with.

        Reply
  7. olpampam

    Nice to have a guide. I’ve always been diligent about having my children be a functioning part of our family. I think that if you’ve been having your children help out and be responsible for themselves to their abilities all along, then they should be able to do most of these things.

    Remember that every child is different and might not be able to do all of these things, but it’s a great list for setting goals as to what your children can accomplish.

    Reply
  8. Ms.R

    How to get a spoiled (with reason, none the less wrong i see after the fact, club foot, gerd and weak tooth enamel as infant and toddler. Almost 6 father dies, 6 months later sexual abuse at a private christain school ( trauma counseling of course was implented!) Now at almost 9 I have a child who won’t keep clothes, toys excetra picked up! Due to financial strain of fathers death we live with my parents. I need some advice, seems nothing works. Very frusturating and creating a stressful envioronment for all of us. We can’t seem to get this house organized to be a home and its going on 3 years!

    Reply
    • alyson

      First off, let me say – I am sorry to hear about your difficulties. Its great you are reaching out for support. There is not much I can do in the small comment box of my site – but I would recommend you take an on-line parenting class that would give you great tips, ideas, and a community of parents on-line to help you implement changes slowly over time. Check out the work of my colleague Dr Jane Nelson of Positive Parenting.

      Reply
  9. Ms.R

    Sorry my main question is how to get her to cooperate and do? Thanks

    Reply
  10. Jennifer

    Do u think that at 11 years old that they should be responsible for taking the medicine

    Reply
    • alyson

      If the medicine was for symptom relief, like a headache or rash, then yes. If it was necessary medicine for say seizures or insulin for diabetes, I would give the child as much freedom to take the medication independently, until the situation become a medical issue. An 11 year old can be competent enough to be responsible if they are taught and given skills to exercise this – but many “responsible parents” don’t have faith and hence the child never gets appropriate chances to learn to the skills of independence and competency required.

      Reply
  11. Karen

    My boyfriend refuses to have his daughter age 10, do anything around the house or for herself. Makes messes doesn’t have to pick up, I do laundry she doesn’t have to even put them away after I’ve washed dried and folded them. I ask her to empty dishwasher he tells her she doesn’t have to. Says he didn’t have a child to make it a slave and that she’s not going anywhere near the oven to help cook etc…. I’m dumbfounded by this!? Sweeping, mopping, making her bed, putting clothes in laundry hamper… NOPE. She just leaves them wherever and is not ever asked or expected to pick them up. She is 10!

    Reply
    • Alyson Schafer

      Maybe sharing some of this content will give him a new perspective! I am sure you are frustrated.

      Reply
      • Karen

        Well I don’t feel he would be open to this content from the website I found it on. Do you have any recommendations for direct sites that I could go to with factual information studied and proven by doctors, psychologists, etc.?

        Reply
  12. RG

    How do you motivate an 11 year old and 13 year old daughter to do ANYTHING related to cleaning up around the house? They’re all about helping make dinner, etc..(making the mess) but then its “you guys need to get your homework done..showers…bedtime”…..things get left around the house and not picked up..eventually they get disciplined..things turn around for a day or two…then we are right where we started again. “Leading by example” isnt even in their vocabulary (they’ll sit and watch YOU work all day and not get it) ….

    Reply
    • Alyson Schafer

      Hey RG,
      We would love it if kids just did what they are supposed to, but alas, they don’t. We have to create discipline techniques to teach them, or solve the problem of why these things are not happening with them. Kids get something like 200 compliance requests a day!!! They get tired of following our marching orders. So, instead try applying a consequence or ask them for a better idea of how things should go. If they make a mess they should clean up after themselves. You can enforce this by applying the consequence that you follow the house schedule and clean preceeds computer time or tuck ins or what ever happens next. You can’t make them take ownership for their bedtime, but you can disclose that you are only willing to do tuck ins to people who are cleaned showered and brushed and in their rooms ready for stories by 8pm. If they aren’t ready, no stories….

      Reply
  13. Jai mcdonald

    I would like to know the younger ones have so many responsibilities but when it comes up to the older children you dont really explain what their duties are at home like you have the rest .. if i went off this my younger kids would be slaves my older kids would feel like kings.

    Reply
  14. amy

    my kid is 6years and can make me an omelette while being supervised, he even asks if I need something from the fridge. he can serve his own food if reachable and make his bed, takes his bath sometimes and doesn’t even let me do it sometimes. but how do I make him stop pissing on the bed in his sleep?

    Reply
    • Alyson Schafer

      He seems very capable! I am not sure if he has ever been dry at night. Many kids don’t develop a critical hormone that slows urine production at night. Its genetic. Where you older when you were dry at night? Doctors don’t really see it as an issue until age 7. Patience at this point.

      Reply
  15. t_o_r

    I am 10 and the only things I can prepare are cereal tea eggs and noodles

    Reply
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