Responsibility Is Not A Dirty Word

(Originally posted February 5, 2007)

I don’t often write about my own children but this week on the eve of my eldest daughter turning 13, she made a comment to me I wanted to share.  It was in the morning and she was making tomato rice soup to pack up for lunch.  She said "I am glad I know how to cook – not that making a can of soup is cooking – but I mean, many of my friends don’t know how to use the stove or aren’t allowed.  I like that I can take care of myself."

Its amazing how hard it is to convince parents that children actually like having responsibilities. They do like to be taught how to cope and manage.   There is a sense of pride and self-esteem that is the bi-product of developing a variety of competencies.  When your child is 18, a legal adult, what skills would you like them to have when they leave your home?  When do you plan to teach them all that?  My daughter will be 18 in 5 years. I have lots to teach her still – but we are well on our way! 

PS – This month I learned how to operate a snow blower.  I get excited learning new things like this.  I recommend if you want to remind yourself how to be a good teacher to your child, try becoming a student again!  When was the last time you developed a new competency?  I’ll write more tips on how to be a good teacher to your child soon!  In Adlerian parlance we call it "take time for training" or T.T.F.T