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#AskAlyson: Getting Teens out of bed!

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Hi Alyson,

 

Quick question.  If my teen is late for school because they sleep in, is it okay for them to take an Uber? I want them to walk. I think that is a good consequence!

 

Anon

 

Hello Anon,

 

It’s hard to get the sleep cycle of our teens back on track. While I have compassion and empathy for their dilemma since Covid messed up everyone’s sleep, they do need to take ownership of adjusting their sleep and wake patterns to accommodate school hours.

 

That will take some patience on the part of us parents as we watch them struggle and fail in the beginning.  But that is nature of learning!   Being tired and late in the morning is a real consequence of not getting good sleep.  They need to experience that consequence, and likely more than a few times (sorry  – I know that kills you!)

 

If they wake late, and they are fully taking responsibility for themselves, they now have to solve this problem.  Their choices led to this problem and they can solve it!  Any solution they figure out is valid so long as it doesn’t impact you.  They could choose to walk, bike, call a friend with a car and see if they will pick them up – or yes, Uber it.

 

If they Uber they need to pay for it themselves. Their solution should not impact you, your time or your bank account.  Likely they have an Uber app associated with your credit card, kindly be sure they reimburse you in a timely manner.  They may pick the Uber option a few times until they realize that Uber is expensive and they would prefer to spend their savings on new ear pods or running shoes.  If they are using Uber too regularly, you might want to look at how much you give them for allowance in the first place!  As the saying goes “fat dogs don’t hunt”.

 

It is not advisable to force them to walk.  That would be doling out a punishment.   You really should not be invested or concerned in how they solve the problem their choices got them into.  Trust that they will try a bunch of ideas and eventually they will likely land on:  going to bed earlier so I don’t sleep in and miss the bus.

 

Try to step out from getting in between your teen and life.  I promise they will figure life out if you let them have a few goes at it!

 

Happy Parenting,

Alyson

About Alyson

Alyson has been blogging parenting advice for over 15 years. She has been a panelist at BlogWest, Blissdom, #140NYC and more. Her content appears on sites across Canada and the US, but you can read all her own blog posts right here.

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