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#AskAlyson: Unhappy at School

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Hi Alyson,

My daughter is in grade 10 and hating school.  She is in a quad-mestered school.  It’s not just that she hates 4 hours of the same subject, but she also complains about the girl drama. She hasn’t made a good friend group since leaving her middle school.  Should I let her switch schools? Or is that just avoiding her problems?

 

Signed,

Concern Mom

 

Hi Concerned Mom.

 

Great way to poise the question! When children want to switch schools are they avoiding the challenges of life that are inevitable? Or are they solving those challenges which would be a mature and adaptive decision.

 

You know best how much effort she has put in to trying to adapt to this current situation of finding her way into a social group, figuring out how to pace herself for a new format of COVID-style learning. And certainly some years of school can be more challenging than others. But if you feel she has given a good effort, and she is really suffering, I would entertain the idea of a change and work on researching other school environments together.

 

Explain that not every school will hit all her tick boxes, but maybe there is one with a closer fit.  Other parents may make recommendations of good schools, but remember we are aiming for a good fit for the student, and some great schools are a terrible match for some kids.  It’s also important to remember that while parents value a school’s academic record, students are more keen on going to school to make friends.  Perhaps she could say more about what type of friend group and activities she would like at the new school.

 

Good luck!

Alyson

About Alyson

Alyson has been blogging parenting advice for over 15 years. She has been a panelist at BlogWest, Blissdom, #140NYC and more. Her content appears on sites across Canada and the US, but you can read all her own blog posts right here.

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