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Expressing Love on Mother’s Day: Your Way? Or Theirs?

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Understanding the 5 Love Languages

Happy Mother’s Day!  What has your family planned for showing you their love?  Will you be pleased or is it usually a lot of high hopes and then disappointment?

Dr. Gary Chapman is a marriage counselor who wrote a wildly popular book called The 5 Love Languages. The idea of the book is that people have different preferences for the way they like to express and receive their feelings of love.  Funny thing is, we are usually attracted to people who don’t share our love language.  Guess that’s part of the whole “opposites attracts” theory.

If you don’t know someone’s “love language,” they may feel unloved or worse, even hurt.   Perhaps your family is trying to send you messages of love on Mother’s Day – but just not in your “love language.”

Below are the five “love languages” Dr. Chapman outlines.  See if you recognize your own, your partner’s and heck, your child’s! Yes, he has written a book just on <a href="http://www buy generic” target=”_blank”>5 Love Languages of Children.  If you learn each family member’s preferred love language, you should be able to get closer to one another. So, there you go! Consider that my Mother’s Day gift tip to each of you!

  1. Words of Affirmation – You like hearing the actual words “I love you” spoken out loud.  Better yet, tell me why you love me.  Words of criticism or insults leave lasting scares.
  2. Quality Time – You want to be shown that you are loved by having someone care enough to stop what they are doing and give you their full undivided attention.  By listening and attending, you know they must care deeply about what is going on in your life.  If they are distracted, or ignore you, postponing importants dates makes you feel unloved and unimportant.
  3. Receiving Gifts – You are not materialistic, but you see that someone was thoughtful and put planning, and energy and thought into action into seeking out something for you.  It would be hurtful to have your birthday or anniversary forgotten.  Lazy purchases like last-minute gift cards feel like they didn’t care enough to work and sacrifice for you.
  4. Acts of Service – If you feel cared for when someone says, “Let me do that for you,” you probably feel loved by acts of service that help take burden off you.  Vaccuming, laundry, helping out feels like they want to be supportive and caring of you.  Conversely, being lazy and adding burdens to your plate may feel unloving.
  5. Physical Touch – Do you want to walk hand-in-hand? Do you feel loved when someone rubs your back or snuggles alongside you while you read? Tactile people want embraces and physical nearness as proof that you want to get as close and near to them as possible.  You want to soothe them.  Alternately, they may feel rejected if their partner wants more personal space, and neglect would be unforgivable.

About Alyson

Alyson has been blogging parenting advice for over 15 years. She has been a panelist at BlogWest, Blissdom, #140NYC and more. Her content appears on sites across Canada and the US, but you can read all her own blog posts right here.

More about Alyson

One Response to “Expressing Love on Mother’s Day: Your Way? Or Theirs?”

  1. sikaz

    I like the ideas suggested here and l just hope everybody understands them as well.
    The world is simply magical and fantastic if all of us can make all the points explained here our watch-word.


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