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Hidden Sources of Discouragment – Are You Overdoing It?

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Discouraging Your Child Without Realizing

Since writing about encouragement I have been thinking a lot on the common mistakes people make when they try to encourage their discouraged children.  One such mistake is "overdoing it".   If your discouraged son Ethan is the one in the family you can never get to clean up and help out and do his share then when he does pitch in you jump all over him panting with positive comments like:

"Wow – Ethan – thanks a lot for taking your plate to the kitchen!!!!  That was really a BIG help – I REALLY appreciate it – Awesome!"

Yes, those are all encouraging comments but the subtext message heard between the lines by the child can be:

"Wow – Ethan – you usually don’t do what is required or asked of you so I am just flabbergasted and ecstatic that you could do something that is expected of others in this family – I really didn’t think you had it in you !!!"

Often one the most encouraging actions you can do to encourage a discouraged child is simply to treat them as you would anyone else.  Now that feels good!

About Alyson

Alyson has been blogging parenting advice for over 15 years. She has been a panelist at BlogWest, Blissdom, #140NYC and more. Her content appears on sites across Canada and the US, but you can read all her own blog posts right here.

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