Aggression - Defiance - Hitting - Biting
Research and Links on Why Spanking is HarmfulTags: aggression, research, spanking
I am a supporter of the Repeal 43 committee, which is fighting to improve the spanking laws in Canada. It is still legal to strike a child in this country. The committee just emailed me to let me know they’ve got a new, updated website. If you are looking for information online to convince your spouse, in-laws or others that spanking is NOT OKAY, you’ll find lots of information, research, links and organizations to help you win the argument. Why not join them in their crusade?
3 Responses to “Research and Links on Why Spanking is Harmful”
I love that you put up this link, but there is so much information to sift through on the web. I’d love it if you could give a nutshell explanation as to why spanking not only doesn’t work, but is emotionally harmful.
My nutshell would go something like this.
Spanking is about fear, intimidation and shame. I want to teach my child with love, not anger. I want my son to feel happy and safe, and understand why he wouldn’t want to choose certain behaviours, without shame. I don’t want him to feel humiliated, enraged, anxious, or afraid because I’m inflicting physical pain. I don’t want to teach him that sometimes, hitting is okay, and an acceptable way to express anger. I don’t want him to think he’s a “bad boy”. I don’t want him to hide things from me, because he’s so afraid of my reaction. I want to be his soft place to fall. I want him to feel safe enough to tell me anything. I want to protect him from pain, not inflict it.
Spanking is taking the easy way out, and a lazy way to parent. It satisfies the parent’s need for instant resolution, while teaching the child nothing, other than “I’m bad” and hitting is acceptable. Violence begets violence.
Creating a nutshell against the Christian argument would be more challenging. With the help of this website…
…mine would go something like this:
As for Christians who want to quote “spare the rod spoil the child”? I think that’s an easy excuse that salves their guilt. I think it’s selective reading of the Bible. I think it’s easy to pick and choose phrases that suit your needs. I think it’s old fashioned, and ignorant. Most of the corporal punishment recommendations in the Bible are attributed to King Solomon, and don’t necessarily reflect the view or will of God. Solomon’s son grew up to be a vicious man that was widely hated. So some argue that the lesson is, don’t parent like Solomon.
Irregardless, I refuse to believe that Jesus, or God, or the Mother Goddess, or whatever greater power you choose to believe in would advocate hitting a child. My God is a god of love, and compassion, who gathers his followers through enlightened teaching (obey me, because I love you and know what’s best), not out of fear of retribution (obey me, or you’ll go to hell!).
Wow that was odd. I just wrote an really long comment
but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear.
Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted
to say wonderful blog!
Oh no! That’s not good. I am sorry that happened. I hope it’s not something glitchy with the site. Usually its a temporary problem with the server. Well, for what it’s worth – thanks for taking the time and for the kind words. Come back and read and post more! Alyson